Thursday, June 15, 2006

Recently, some rather clever vandals had their way with a dumpster outside my sons school.

This reminds me of something I. . . er. . . a friend of mine did about 13 years ago.

It all started when some jaded underemployed person decided to rent a bus stop bench on the corner of Timpview Drive in front of Edgemont Elementary School.

My guess is that this individual must have been passed over for a promotion or a new job in favor of someone he or she percieved to be less qualified, but who nevertheless had family ties to the employer.

The bench was painted dark green with yellow block lettering which read, "Nepotism is a Relative Thing."

This friend of mine knew nothing of the reasons for the sign, but had to pass the bus stop at least once every day. As you can imagine, after a few months the anti-nepotism message got a little annoying. What kind of person would pay good money to rent a bus stop bench in order to have it say "Nepotism is a Relative Thing?" I think maybe he or she lost out on the job because the employer knew they were petty, vindictive, and just generally a pain in the arse.

So it was the night of my friends 18th birthday, and the sign was still up. After passing off the final requirements for his Eagle scout award, my friend got together with a cousin and a girl he met at the Palace dance club on high school night, went to Smiths and bought some green and some yellow spray paint, and plotted their evil scheme.

My friends were meticulous. They cut out stencils based on tracings of existing letters on the sign. They actually removed the sign to a secluded area so they could work uninterrupted. They painstakingly painted the letters as professionally as they could manage given the circumstances.

The next day the sign read, "Incest is a Relative Thing."


AzĂșcar said...

I remember that bench, and that stupid saying.

Second, thanks for mentioning that he met a girl at The Palace, because that made my night.

Hahahahahaha, The Palace.

Rachel said...

i remember the bench, too. i think that's when i learned the definition of nepotism?

spitzer said...

I just remembered my favorite “word changing” idea. While passing "Ross Dress for Less" the other day I thought of how funny if would be to spray-paint a “C” in front of “Ross”.