Well, it's a week from Christmas and I haven't blogged for a while. So here goes:
We had a big sale on Saturday. It also dumped about 8 inches of snow on Saturday. Guess how the sale went? That's right, it was craptacular. It was a non-stop crap-fest. We opened at 8AM with door prizes for the first ten customers in the door. By six PM when we closed we still had 7 door prizes left.
We mailed out about 400 invitations to the sale. We spent more on the postage than we took in the entire day.
That should set the tone for the rest of this post. Now you can see where I'm coming from.
Today my wife insisted that I write the Christmas letter for our friends and family. This was a great idea since I'm so full of Christmas cheer and holiday spirit. I spent all day on the letter trying really hard to make it cheerful, or funny, or anything but sarcastic and pessimistic. I failed.
The closing paragraph went something like this: "Now for the obligatory Christmas message: Merry Freaking Christmas."
My wife didn't like it so she rewrote the whole thing. I should have gone with my first instinct and written it Mad Lib style. Letting the readers choose the adjectives would have worked out well. I could have imagined that every adjective was a derivative of the word "Crap" as I wrote, but readers would have been able to think up their own saccharine sentences. That would have been doable.
Instead, my wife wrote about how wonderful our kids are and how rewarding her work at the hospital is and how my store still hasn't caved in or burned down. She has a way of looking on the bright side of things.
Merry Freaking Christmas fellow bloggers. May your hearts be full of (noun) this (adjective) season.