The Christmas Letter
Dear Friends, Family and Various and Sundry Loved Ones,
Once again I get to write the Christmas Letter, and by "get to" I mean Laquita* is making me do it. You may remember that last year our "beloved" dog Midnight got totaled. I'm "thrilled" to report that this year Midnight didn't eat any more poison and is alive and well.
Recently however, our "beloved" Ford Windstar got totaled. In this case we're doing the sensible, humane thing and putting it down. You see, unlike some animals (Midnight, I'm looking in your general direction) we learn from our mistakes.
BoJamboJambo is turning 7 this month. He's huge! He reminds me of Dolph Lundgren in Rocky IV. One of these days we're going to ask him to clean his room and he'll solemnly reply, "I must break you." This is my second greatest fear. I'll tell you the first in a second.
Mr. Scootypants is 5 and he's doing really well in school. He's a very sweet little kid. He taught himself to whistle, and now reminds me even more of Opie. He entered a drawing in the "Reflections" art contest and it was great. However BoJamboJambo's "Jambotopia" took first place overall. So unfortunately it looks like we're keeping family tradition and letting Mr. Scootypants languish in his older brothers shadow for now.
Twinkiebuns is a lovely little girl and she loves princesses and her daddy, in that order. This brings me to my greatest fear: One day Twinkiebuns will become a teenage princess and all my hair will fall out from the stress. She's going to be a real heartbreaker.
Laquita has worked as a pediatric nurse for five years and she loves her job. She probably wouldn't love it so much if her greatest fear came true and she accidentally killed some kids. But she's an excellent nurse, so there's little to worry about in that department.
As for me . . . well, like Midnight I'm still alive. I'm overweight and my hair is thinning, but I'm not totaled yet. The Scooter Lounge continues to be a fun business. In fact, I think I've pretty much got it made, because how many bald, fat guys love both their jobs and their families? We are truly blessed.
We hope that you have a wonderful holiday season. Merry Christmas!
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent