Wednesday, June 17, 2009

From "Why can't I be good?"
by Lou Reed

I want to be like the wind
When it uproots a tree
Carries it across an ocean
To plant in a valley
I want to be like the sun
That makes it flourish and grow
I don't want to be
What I am anymore

In many ways I feel as though I have just awakened from a fitful sleep, in other ways I feel that I have slipped over the edge of a precipice and have only just begun to climb back up. Honesty, displaced for so long, has the dizzying effect of making one feel simultaneously empowered and liberated on one hand, and overwhelmed by reality on the other.

There are moments of my life remembered as though I had awakened to find manna on the ground around me, and there are moments which struck as a thousand raindrops or snowflakes, a sudden thunderstorm, or a swim in cold water. There are also, unfortunately, moments remembered as though I had stepped in filth, stumbled in a pig-mire, or fallen into an abyss.

Why can't I be good? Why is it so hard to consistently make good choices?

It's gotten a lot easier since I got honest. Thank God for honesty.


Kaerlig said...

Yes, thank God for hard as it is.

b. said...

It starts by making one good choice, and then another. And then another after that...

~j. said...

You are good. Sometimes people just forget.

~j. said...

By that, I mean that sometimes we forget that we are the good ones, that we are GOOD. Not that other people forget that we're good, which I'm sure happens, but that's not what I'm talking about.

The Calders said...

It is a constant struggle. As we taught the youth today during a great fireside. "Obedience is doing hard things".

Realize that all of us struggle, but to make small course corrections, so you NEVER find yourself in the predicament again.