Spiritual experiences have been few and far between for me over the past several years. And any effort to cultivate them on my part resulted in being faced with the dilemma, the elephant in the room, that has ridden on my back all this time. The creature from which I couldn't be freed without being honest was too heavy to carry yet I persisted in silence for fear of the fallout I knew would punch radioactive holes in everything I hold dear. I tried to find a fallout shelter, knowing full well that there are no loopholes in the law of repentance.
Yet the spirit didn't stop striving with me. All this time He didn't stop. I begged Him not to stop.
I recently had a spiritual experience in the shower. I was listening to Fix You by Coldplay and as I sang along to the words, "Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you", I was overcome as I felt the spirit testify the truth of that message to me.
So now I have freed the elephant. I decided to take the advice of a wise leader and "hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and accept whatever came." So far we are okay.
I know that I can be fixed.