Sunday, November 01, 2009

I have a gigantic kidney.  All the doctors are like, "That's one impressive kidney." and "Holy cow!" and "I've never seen a kidney that large."

And I'm holding up my right hand high (because my left arm is broken) and I'm like, "High Five!" because what else do you say to a doctor who tells you your kidney is gigantic?

Here is my impressive kidney (it's the big blob on the left smashing my liver into a thin paté).  It's about as big as a football (a NFL football). 

I wasn't feeling too hot and the doctor sent me to the hospital to get a "virtual weiner" (as my 8 year old calls it).

It is a tube placed into the kidney to drain it (a Nephrostomy tube).  I told the nurse that a nephrostomy sounds like a refreshing beverage.  It could be because I was extremely thirsty at the time after not eating or drinking for about 3 days.

Imagine 1.5 liters of urine hanging out in your kidney with no place to go.  Imagine the relief you would feel if this was in your bladder and you finally peed.  That's how I felt after getting this out.

My wife made me smile for this picture...but for the first time in several days I could actually kind of do it.

P.S.  This post was written with a lot of help from my wife Kaerlig who has been gracious enough to do a lot of things for me these past days, including giving me an enema which we have agreed to never speak of again.


Azúcar said...

Holy mackerel! That's a huge kidney!

~j. said...

I'm glad you're feeling better.

Manna said...

I think this post presents several excellent blog title candidates.
Here's my top 3:

1. Impressive Kidney
2. Cold Nephrostomy
3. Secret enema

Manna said...

. . . . I forgot one -

4. Virtual Weiner

Emilie and Branden said...

Heavens. That's a lot of pee. It makes me cramp up to look at it. And makes me feel like I want some apple juice. Hope you're feeling better!

b. said...

that is definitely a smile of relief!


How aboutcha settle things down a bit now?

The Calders said...

Like you won't mention the enema..right. I am looking forward to that story at Moab. I am glad everything is working out the best it can. Keep us in the know. We are praying for you.